Carrots = Happiness

 

Carrots = Happiness

Eating better = More Energy.             More Energy = More activity.

More activity = Weight Loss              Weight Loss = Feeling better

Feeling Better = Happy

So, Carrots = Happiness

What the fuck and why are we listening to these people?  It seems that every time you glance at your phone or the latest tv doctor there is yet another diet, supper food, enchanting pill, or some other invention to magically make all our fat melt away.  It is the latest greatest breakthrough we have all been on the edge of our seats waiting for.

Beach ready, supermodel thin, shed millions of pounds.  No work is needed.  Just do this, take that, eat this at 5:00 while standing on one foot.  Click your heels three-time and wish.  When you open your eyes, you will magically be transformed into Claudia Schiffer, Christy Brinkley, or whoever is currently on the runway.  These claims are outrageous.  Yet we read the article, watch the show, and click for more information anyway.  After all, they have real-life people just like us that tried it.  Look at them now.  That could be us.  What are you waiting for?

What is beach-ready?  Who has decided what we need to look like when we go to the beach or what we should wear?  Is there a grocery store, gas station, or get the laundry done ready?  Is there a dress code for walking the dog?  Why the fuck are we listening to them?  The proverbial them.  Them with no names, that no one has ever met.  The untouchable, judgmental group of no one and everyone all at the same time.  So why we do care about them?

We are all told we are overweight and need to do all these things to lose weight.  We will feel better, sleep better, and think better.  We will have more energy, more friends, and more self-confidence.  All of life’s problems will go away if only you were your perfect weight.  So, money can’t buy happiness, but carrots can?  I am not sure bugs bunny would agree.  He still can’t find Albuquerque.

Who gets to set the standard?  How do you know what is overweight and what is not?  How do they know?  I refuse to go by the arbitrary BMI number chart.  It has no basis in science and doesn’t take into account 100s of factors that may or may not be healthy for you.  It reduces every person to an age/height correlation that somehow predicts what weight you are supposed to be.  People in Alaska have very different lifestyles than people in the Caribbean. Their needs are different.  Their health factors are different.

The BMI chart was originally set up pre-World War I as a way for life insurance companies to determine if they would give you life insurance and for what price.  After all, based on your age, weight, and height was a great way to determine if you were likely to get and/or die of tuberculosis.  (insert eye roll here).  TB was a disease everyone had but only ½ of the population died of it.  Jump 90ish years and TB is a thing of the past.  Most young people have never heard of it.  Yet, the chart remains.

Somehow, someone got a hold of the old insurance chart.  They retitled, rebranded, made it color-coded, and just like magic it became the new standard. A standard that puts most of the people on Olympic teams from around the world in the overweight category.  WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? 

I refuse to hold myself to a standard any gold medal Olympian fails to meet.  Talk about self-deprecating unrealistic expectations.  There is no way a grown-functioning adult can have or even wants to have the body of a 12-year-old gymnast.   Being a pre-teen/teenager sucked.  Call me morbidly obese, fat pig, slob, cow,…. Before I am going back to any part of those days.

Diet = the kinds of foods that a person, animal, or community habitually eats.  – Nothing wrong with that.  We can all agree.

Diet = is a special course of food to which one restricts oneself.  – Restrict from what? Fun, Happy, Being Full?

Ask this doctor.  Follow these rules, follow those.  Eat this, not that.  The e-mails, ads, and social feeds bombard us with expert advice on how to restrict ourselves.  All the latest greatest research contradicting the news only a few seconds older.  All promising to leave us better than we are, without effort, depravity, or being hungry.  What was that your mother told you?  If it’s worth having it’s worth working for.  But whom are we working for?

Who is setting the standard for healthy, fit, or happy? Why do any of this?  Why listen, watch, or click for more information?  None of the experts claim happiness, fun, or enjoyment.  So, why do it?  Depressed people are not necessarily fat.  Skinny people are not necessarily happy.  “If you’re your ideal weight; you will live a longer and healthier life.”  What good is living longer if I’m miserable?  Anyone could die tomorrow.  It is your body and your life.  You set the standards.

Experts be dammed.  Be happy.  Eat what you want.