Self Care

 

What does self-care mean?  Is it mediations every morning with life-changing affirmations?  All intended to ground us to our true selves.  Mantras we say over and over again. So we can keep our cool.  We can grow to have the ability to glide through life letting the stress fall behind as we stay focused on the truly important things.  Is it yoga mats, power smoothies, and sleep stories?  Or is it the herbal, organic, magic mix?  We can transcend the stresses, problems, and worries, and become our true potential.  We can rise above. 

 

Ya, Whatever!  Fuck you!

 

That all sounds good.   The hype, the sandy beaches, and the weird music sell books, apps, and retreats.  YouTube advertising between self-help, and how too videos make it so wonderful.  But that’s not really what happens. Is it even what we need when we need self-care?  We all have ideas of bubble baths and champagne with chocolate truffles. A good book in front of a fireplace all cozied up in something warm and soft.

Sometimes self-care is just staying in bed.  A perfect cup of coffee.  Or just vegging in front of a stupid movie.  It is wrapped in a blanket, alone in the dark sipping bourbon out of the bottle through a bendy straw.  It’s listening to nothing while doing nothing, and just letting yourself be.

Self-care is letting go of expectations and what you think is right or wrong or what you should be doing.  Let go of who others think you should be.  Self-care is ignoring the list of have tos’. Ignoring the to-do list and saying FUCK you to all those saying you’re doing it wrong.  To all those adding SHOULD to your life. Whatever you need to do to take the next step is the right thing for you to do.  And the next step might be taking another sip.

Self-care is realizing that it’s OK to just NOT sometimes.

 

It is OK to NOT be OK.  To stop smiling when you don’t want to.  To cry when you need it and to let the asshole know just exactly how you feel.  It is OK to let your feelings and needs come first. There is no need to hold on to the shoulds and the guilts. 

Ignore all the happiness :-) faces on Facebook and all the people that are posting how much they are getting it done.  Those are just snippets in time. They pretend happy moments to make themselves feel better.  No one truly gives a shit. The posts are to convince you they deserve your attention.   But they don’t.

If the happy faces were telling the truth, they would be exactly where all the rest of us are.  Wishing we were in the dark, in bed, with a major case of I just can’t today. Not giving a fuck.

You have to take care of yourself. In the way you need.  Do what is right for you no matter what anybody else says, thinks, or does.  That is the only way to be truly who you are and live to your true potential.

Maybe the wine with the fireplace and a good book is your idea of self-care.  But there’s nothing wrong with sleeping until dinner, having a pint of ice cream, and going back to bed.   Or staying up all night watching Hallmark movies with beer/scotch and a bag of chips.  

Long walks in nature and healthy vegetable meals with superfoods and protein shakes are always good ideas.  But that doesn’t mean that is what you need.  You Do You and let the rest of the world be damned.