Eye of the Behloder

 

Success = achieving a high position, making a lot of money, or being admired a great deal. Something that works in a satisfactory way or has the result that is intended.

Failure = lack success. An unsuccessful person, enterprise, or thing.  The omission of expected or required action.  The action or state of not functioning.

Failure or Success are two sides to the same coin.  No one seems to have a good definition of either.  Even the above internet explanation isn’t all that clear. Everyone seems to know both when they see it.  Failure, success, and beauty are all in the eye of the beholder.  But what are we looking for? 

Some have made numbers, social status, and symbols the definition of success.  But does NOT having these things mean failure?  Has everyone without a corporate jet, several million dollars, and a famous Twitter page failed?  Is trying something and having it not be right making it a mistake?  If so Hennery Ford, Thomas Edison, and the Right Brothers are the biggest disappointments of all time.  They collectively tried and failed thousands of times before driving a car, flying, or lighting the world.

If something last forever, is that success?  If something ends is that failure?  By that reasoning, everything has failed or will fail.  As nothing is forever, and nothing is a success?

How do you put a number to failure or success?  Does a relationship fail because it only last 6 months, 5 years, or 2 decades?  Does it fail when one party dies?  Is it a success if the children grow up and become successful?  Is a marriage/relationship a victory if it lasts 50 years but the wife kills herself to get away from her tyrant of a husband?  Has the relationship failed if both parties shake hands and agree it is time to move on?  They are happy, remain friends, and hold no grudges.  Socially, suicide is a tragic end to a successful marriage.  But the divorce is a failure.  How is that possible?

Does making a thousand, million dollars, a month, year, or decade make you successful?  Is the billion-dollar CEO living at the office but never seen a school play successful?  Is the $30,000 a year parent that never misses a soccer game a failure?  Is it the money?  Is it time spent with the next generation?  Is it both?  The CEO is praised as successful, powerful, and a great contributor to society.  The parent is hovering, spoiling the child, and not providing enough.  How can this be true?

Successful people have penthouses, mansions, fast cars, exotic vacations, and expensive watches.  They go to all the right parties, with all the right people.  They have platinum credit cards and bills to match.  People look up to them without knowing why.  What about the rest of us?  Are we failing for only having one house, car, and backyard bar-b-ques?  What is the point of a car that can be 0 to 100 in 10sec if you can’t drive 55?  Is Dom Perignon with strangers better than brews with friends?

A person dies with 5 million dollars in the bank.  Their death is on the news. The airs fight over the houses and all the stuff in them but are too busy to make the funeral.  A different person dies with next to nothing.  The obituary doesn’t even make the papers.  Yet the funeral lasts for days with all the people telling stories and celebrating the life of the deceased. 

Both are dead.  Which one was successful?  Which one failed?  Did either of them do either?

I have been rich.  I flew first class to Paris, stayed in fancy hotels, eat amazing food all over the world.  I had a flat in Italy.  I drank wine from my home while looking at the alps.  I have been poor.  I begged family members to live in their basements, walked to job interviews, and lived on ramen noodles and rice.  I cleaned houses for food. Everything I owned fit in my hatchback rust bucket of a car.  I now have homes in multiple states, and run two businesses, but have no income.  I am the happiest I have ever been.  What part of my life is a success?  What is a failure?

First grade ended, and we moved on to the second.  High school ended we moved on to college.  That ended and we moved on. We took what we experienced and moved forward. The good, the bad, and the ugly.  We didn’t fail because we kept moving.

One step in front of the other is a success.  Even if the next step is stopping to evaluate, smell the pizza, or get some much-needed rest.  The past is the past.  It is not a failure as long as you keep your eyes on the future.