Humans are NOT Monkeys - Sometimes

 

Humans are not monkeys, apes, chimpanzees, gorillas, or anything of the like.  Depending on your beliefs we may or may not have evolved from these creatures.   But humans are NOT them.  We do not (with the exception of small children and the occasional male) swing from trees, pick lice off each other, eat grass, or walk on all fours. We have opposable thumbs.  We have mastered complex skills, reading, writing and arithmetic.  Some would argue that our brains are bigger.  Or that humans are more advanced and have come out on top.  This may be true with one major exception.

We may not be monkeys in many ways, but we can fling poo with the best of them.

No, I really mean it.  Why do you think I give a crap about your crap?  Calling friends and family members for support when the shit gets real is important.  But bring others down just because we want to feel justified in our misery is not ok. 

You wouldn’t call your grandma and complain about bad coffee.  So why me?  Why any of us? We were just trying to have a polite conversation.  Just the obligatory how’s it going, how’s the weather, did you see the game last night? The response to this is supposed to be, fine, good, same old same old, doing great how about you?  This is the normal banter between people.  But somehow at some point someone thought flying feces would be better.

Why did you think we wanted shit when we asked How are you doing?

You don’t post dung on Facebook, twitter, or whatever.  Do we look like we really wanted to know you slept through your alarm?  You broke your coffee pot and got stuck in traffic.  Why do we need the intimate details of how your work is so stressed you missed lunch?  Why are we your doormat? 

On screen, using the app of your choice, the world is wonderful.  Everything is butterflies, cupcakes, and roses.  Our universe is painted in rainbow colors, life couldn’t be better, and we couldn’t be happier.  Work might be stressful right now but as soon as this project is done it will be ok. But for some reason, take away the WIFI, Bluetooth, and close all the apps and the poo flinging begins.

The people next to us in yoga class, the check out person at the store, the lady at the dry cleaners, and the people close enough to bend an ear get to know just how offal our day was / is.  The hurled the caca lands on them.  Tit for tat, and we jump right into launching our own turds. 

All of a sudden, we are all in a head to head grudge match of one up man ship.  Its dead locked in the final heat; winner take all. A bloodthirsty cut throat game of “Who’s had the worst day, the toughest week. Whose life sucks the most.  It is a game of pick up the most crap and smear it everywhere, over everyone, in the most dramatic way possible so everyone will ……

Everyone will what? Think you’re the best for surviving another traffic jam?  Take pity on you for how hard your life is.  Somehow think “my life isn’t so bad, at least I got coffee this morning.”  What are we really trying to accomplish by flinging shit at everyone within earshot?  What is the point? Enough already.

Tell the bright side of the story.  You got 15 minutes of extra sleep this morning. (slept through the alarm)  Then treated yourself to your favorite Starbucks latte (broken coffee pot)  and enjoyed it while jamming away to the best music mashup on the way to work. (traffic jam) You skipped the vending machine lunch, stuck to your diet plan, and made major headway on your inbox. (too much to do at work)

Let’s be honest, whose friend do you really want to be?  Both people had the same day.  It's all a matter of perspective.  It all comes down to this. 

You want a better life, Get a better perspective.

And keep the poo throwing to the monkeys.