ITs a Small World

 

When we were small, our parents constantly forced us outside our comfort zone. We were forced to go to school, play sports, join groups, and make friends. We were forced to see new people or at least more family members. We were taken to the grocery stores, sporting events, plays, new foods, and all sorts of new things. Part of youth is exploring, “finding out who you are,” and what you want to be when you grow up.

But as we grow older, there is pressure to “settle down.” Society dictates we have more control, are less spontaneous, and start limiting our options. We get to choose who we hang out with and who we make our friends. There is freedom in this choice. We get to decide where we go and what we do, but the choices are measured and predictable.  They are limited to what groups we feel comfortable joining: our work, church, or the bar down the street.  They are limited to what is not in our perceived danger zone.

We make the same choices over and over because that’s where we are comfortable. We know the circumstances.  We think we can predict the outcomes. The people are the same. We like them. With that comes a shrinking world and we feel safe, until we are not.

We no longer make it to try new things, have new adventures, or do anything that makes us squirm.  Our world gets narrow as our views become diminutive.  The news becomes scary.  The excitement for new, the chances we took for granted, turns from natural joy to fear and apprehension.  Isolation creeps in.

The older we get, the more we stay in our bubble, and the more we stay, the smaller the bubble gets.  The apprehension turns into paranoia, and without realizing it, we have segregated ourselves into small groups.  Our groups are safe, predictable, and aligned with everything we know.  We fight to maintain the group status.  After all, if it is not from the group, it will destroy the group, our comfort zone.  It is then the enemy to be destroyed. Without question, thought, or hesitation.

People in elder homes love company. They love to see new people, young people. It reminds them of a time when their circle was as big as the world really is. A time when they were not apprehensive or segregated, when life was not the same every single day, over and over again, when they were less predictable. It was life outside of comfort zones, and it was exciting, it was new.

Going outside your comfort zone doesn’t mean going outside your safety zone.  You don’t even have to leave town or your home.  You have to reach out.  Join a new online group.  Order from a restaurant you’ve never tried before.  Take a different path to work.  Or simply go to the grocery store across town.   Take a class, cook something new.  Smile at someone you have never seen before.  

Be a kid again, wave, say hi to random people as you drive by them.  YouTube random how-to videos and try a project you never thought of before.  Post pictures of random things around your house to see who reacts.   Reach out to a friend online that you have not talked to in years. 

It’s all the little things that stretch our self-inflected boundaries just a little bit, and with every stretch, it becomes easier and bigger.  Then you’re not quite so alone. Not quite so isolated.  We all have friends. We need to find a way to reach out to them. You might be surprised to find that they’ve been reaching out to you, and you didn’t notice.

Keep your world big to keep your mind growing, and keep having adventures.